it's making me wait...

we have completed tech-ing the show, sound wise. we will probably finish with the lights when the sun goes down. wow. there are many many sound cues. it's been kinda grueling. what most folks say about tech, referring to it as 'hell week' or some such tag, i have rarely found this to be the experience myself. i kinda love tech rehearsals. things come together, get illuminated, and some real magic happens. this tech? i won't call it 'hell week'. that would not be fair nor accurate. but it has been grueling. a lot of hurrying up to wait for me. i work best outta struggle compounded with hard work. without the hard work, i have too much time on my hands and begin to doubt every single choice i've made for myself, and then when i've exhausted that route, i start in on choices that have been made outside of myself. stupid and very non-productive, but natural. in essence, i am creating a struggle for myself, because there is a fairly clear road ahead. to be wary of ease could very well be some kind of dis-ease. i don't know. but i have it. regardless. i am excited to be able to run, for myself and everyone here. because at this point, i still don't have a complete grasp on what this show is, from beginning to end. also natural, at this point. i have anticipation...